Serendipity
by Reiana
Summary: N.-An aptitude for making enjoyable discoveries purely by accident.  The Light Warrior's journey is not so much heroic as it is haphazard.
1. The Lute

**A/N: **Warning: expect a lot of swearing, shout-outs, forth-wall breakage, and general asshatery around here-this is entirely for fun.

**The Lute**

The Warriors of Light—in their realm, they are known as the bringers of peace and prosperity. They are strong, physically and mentally, and present a face of stability and strength. Anyone who has seen them could attest to the seamless way they work together, selflessly supporting one another in all that they do. They have no quarrels, save for those with the forces of evil. No one can deny this fact.

Of course, no one's exactly seen them lost inside a dungeon.

"So how exactly does this thing work again?"

They had slain the four fiends, the crystals shone once more, and yet those sages at that stupid circle insisted that they do more work. Go back in time and kill the source, they said. Don't worry; the Princess has given you all you need.

Never mind that they had no clue how to play a lute.

Thief, called such because he had looked like a thief at the start of it all, though now he was garbed as a Ninja, held said instrument as they stood, 2,000 years before they had originally existed, inside the Shrine of Chaos where they had already killed the bad guy and saved the damsel and now had to go kill more bad guys else wise the whole world would end, regardless of the fact that the four fiends had already been slaughtered.

A simple stone plate blocked their way, much like what had happened in the Cavern of Earth, except this time the Rod didn't work.

They'd been sitting there for the better part of an hour, wondering just what they were supposed to do. The Warrior, in his quiet way, had pulled the Lute out, much to the other's surprise. They'd all but forgotten its existence; after all, it'd been a while since they'd gotten it from the Princess Sarah.

And they still had no clue how to play the damn thing.

During this time, Black Mage had started doing his little encyclopedia number, and Thief got sarcastic (as per usual), and the two had begun ranting at each other about anything and everything that bothered them, up to and including the fact that they were know as 'Thief' and 'Black Mage' never mind that they did in fact posses normal names.

But, the world didn't care about their names. All it cared about was that they had the crystals and they were the Light Warriors and god_damn_it they'd better bail us out of the mess we're in.

The Circle of Sages also came up, about how they were no help with their mysterious claims of knowledge that made sense to no one but themselves; Thief had actually gone as far as to say that the Dwarves, with their strange accents, were easier to understand then those so-called sages.

Warrior, now a Knight, had long since stopped paying attention. He occupied himself with killing whatever random monster thought that the noise his companions were making meant food, not that the pair noticed.

White Mage, who was actually a White Wizard but still called a Mage and sometimes even mistaken for a Priest, had at first tried to reason with the troublesome two. But neither would listen, and she began to grumble about the idiocy of men; something she did often due to the fact that she was the only girl in the group. She'd gone as far as to start helping Warrior out, as he at least was not annoying, though far beyond her realm of understanding—because, of course, he was male. She had even put her hood up, hoping to block out some of the noise—not that it had worked.

Eventually she'd tired of that, and had managed to squeeze in the word 'Lute' between Thief and Black Mage, thus bringing them back to the problem at hand.

In response to Thief's rather simplistic question, Black Mage, who was actually a Black Wizard or sometimes just Wizard, said in the tone he used whenever he felt he was teaching someone of lesser mental standing then himself, "Well, if you pluck at the strings, they make different pitches, so theoretically, you could-"

"I got that part, you smartass." Thief snapped. "What I meant was, how the hell do we get this thing to get us where ever it is that we're going? I don't think this thing's supposed to be a lever like that Rod, and I doubt bashing it into the ground will help."

"I suppose you simply have to play the correct tune, and the slate will magically open."

"So we just pluck a few strings, and then we're good?"

"That seems to be the case."

Thief look at the lute for a moment or two before he began to pluck at the strings, making the saddest excuse for music they'd ever know, be it in this time or the other. Warrior found himself returning to his troublesome companions, both because he wanted the noise to stop and because all the monsters had fled in terror—and he could have sworn that he'd seen some cracks form in the stone wall when the noise had commenced.

Black Mage called for Thief to shut up, to which Thief had replied that if Black Mage was so smart, let's see _him_ try it and do better.

By this point, White Mage was so fed up with them that she was contemplating the effects of beating them both upside the head with Thor's Hammer. Maybe she'd get lucky and the jolt of electricity would jump-start their brains.

The two had resumed their bickering, this time pointing out everything they'd ever found wrong about one another—from Thief's woman-chasing at every inn and pub they'd been to, to Black Mage's glowing yellow eyes hidden by the shadow of his overly-large hat. Both were familiar complaints, the former seeing Black Mage dunked in a nearby well, and the latter seeing Thief suffer from a well-placed Fira spell.

Warrior, finally having grown bored, quietly walked between his 'friends' and took the Lute from Thief's hands. He then sat down on the edge of a pedestal of one of the statues surrounding the slate they were failing to move, closed his eyes, and began to play a perfectly peaceful melody. The sweet notes echoed in the air as he continued, one flowing into the next. The other three stared as the slate glowed, than vanished, and the tune faded into the silence.

Warrior stood, and raised an eyebrow at his companions. "What?"

Black Mage found his voice first. "Where…did you learn to do that?"

"Princess Sarah taught me the night we stayed at the Castle before heading north."

"And, you didn't tell us this…why?" White Mage inquired, her eyes twitching in a way that could be dangerous.

Warrior smiled slightly, a sparkle of mischief in his eyes. "You never asked."

As Warrior slipped the Lute back into its original place, Thief finally seemed to grasp the situation in his own unique way.

"So wait, you got it on with the Princess and didn't tell us?"

Warrior reacted with speed that comes with hordes of training, nearly slicing off Thief's nose. Thief did manage to dodge at the last moment, but his triumph was killed by a sudden spark of pain. It was apparent that Thief had not learned a vital lesson about his female companion; she had a small amount of patience and a prominent jealous streak, not to mention a hell of a hammer blow.

Thief crumpled to the ground, twitching, and White Mage snarled furiously. Obviously, she wasn't done.

By implying that Warrior was attracted to another woman, that streak, spurned on by the hour of annoyance that she'd just suffered from, had ignited into a burning rage.

Warrior, being the wisest of them, was making his way down the newly opened ladder, knowing that whatever monsters down there would be easy to defeat with his Excalibur and his decent knowledge of White magic, while a murderous White Mage was not to be trifled with.

Black Mage opened his mouth to jeer at the fallen Thief, but when he saw White Mage, whose hood now overshadowed much of her face, and whose eyes glinted with murderous intent, he quickly changed his mind. Staying only long enough to bid Thief good luck, he hastened after Warrior, who was much more even-tempered and who would, more likely then not, avoid giving him a concussion.

Thief slowly regained his senses, only to see White Mage's sadistic grin, and that sparkling eye that promised him much pain and hurt.

He barely had the time to say "OH SHI-!" before she brought Thor's Hammer down again.

From below, Warrior and Black Mage both winced at the sudden cries of pain.

"I don't suppose we're going to just leave him there?" Black Mage asked his leader with a shaky laugh.

Warrior shrugged. "I don't know…on one hand, he does kind of deserve it…"

"And on the other?"

"Well, I'm beginning to think we've found the ancient evil…."

Again with the shaky laughter, this time interrupted by Thief falling from the hole from which they'd come.

"Heal…please…" He'd rasped.

"She's the healer," Warrior said softly, gesturing upwards. "I don't know enough magic to help you."

"I wouldn't get healed too much anyways." Black Mage said. "She's only going to hit you again."

This point was reinforced by White Mage jumping down from above, landing on Thief's back with a rather painful sounding _crunch_.

Warrior and Black Mage backed away, not wishing to get caught in the crossfire. As White Mage finished extracting revenge for the perceived wrong, the two onlookers continued their conversation in a low aside.

"Now I know why the strongest fiend was female." Warrior murmered.

"Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned, right?"

With the barest of chuckles, Warrior nodded, and turned to face some newly appeared monsters. After all, they wouldn't want to interrupt the team bonding back there, would they?


	2. SwishSwishAree!

**A/N** Not as good as the first one, if you ask me, but what the hell. Enjoy.

**Swish-Swish-Aree~!**

"Are you sure we're going the right way?"

"Well maybe if you'd stop and ask for directions-"

"Yeah, because a crazy horse is so going to tell me where the next town is!"

Thief and White Mage continued to bicker as the four light warriors trudged along, the castle of Cornelia a distant memory on the southern horizon.

Warrior and Black Mage led the way, doing their best to ignore the quarrelsome duo whilst sticking close to them in case of monster attack.

It was around mid-morning of the second day after crossing "their" bridge (as Thief liked to put it), and there had been no signs of civilization since. The town of Provoka was proving to be illusive indeed.

Several times Black Mage asked Warrior, who was in the lead, where they were going. And every time, Warrior would calmly ask why Black Mage thought he knew.

They were starting to ration food, as the did not want to waist the small surplus they'd acquired, seeing as they were, like it or not, hopelessly lost. Stomachs were fairly empty, which meant that patience was in sort supply (for the most part). Several times White Mage had asked if they could dip into the supply of alcohol, given to them by the citizens of Cornelia during the party celebrating their rescue of the Princess Sarah. Thief agreed, and even began threatening to pull the same stunt he did the first night in Cornelia's inn, which earned him a hard, cold, if-you-do-I-will-fucking-MURDER-you glare from Warrior.

The skies were gray and gloomy, and the smell of rain hung in the air and drifted on the winds. Soon it began to rain in earnest; buckets upon buckets (and then some) came down upon the four, who quickly took up a hunt for shelter.

They came upon an old, dusty cave, and began to poke around to make sure it wasn't the lair of something nasty. The four felt they were prepared (enough) to face whatever monster lurked deep in the rocky depths.

They were not, however, prepared for what they found.

A single broom floated around a passageway leading to a single wooden door. The broom itself was unremarkable—you could find one just like it in any household closet. The fact that it was floating, however….

As the four approached, caution abandoned in favor of dumbfounded curiosity, the broom whisked itself around behind them and began to sweep up the dirt that had been their footprints.

The light warriors gapped, jaws-on-the-floor, until the broom began to chant something in a high-pitched, singsong voice-"Frontwards, backwards, any way you please! There's no better way to swish-swish-aree!"

The four glanced at each other, and silently agreed to make a break for the door, wherever it may lead, before the broom finished its little song…chant…thing.

They regretted that decision.

The room inside was huge, covered in plush rugs, strange hangings on the walls, various pots of bubbling contents of debatable safety, vases of strange plants that looked ready to eat the nearest passer-by, and shelves so coated in dust that if rendered the titles of the books entirely unreadable. Gaudy beads and fake golden trinkets hung from various places, and some strange purple light (or was it some sort of gas?) hung in the stuffy, sweet-scented air. In the center of the room was a withered old crone, who was constantly running into things and tripping—screeching every time she did. More floating brooms hung around, sweeping up dust that would only resettle in a different place.

If they thought their jaws had been on the floor earlier, they were through the floor now.

"Hey…" Warrior whispered slowly, nudging Thief, "did you spike our morning rations again?"

"No…" Thief murmered, a shaky smile on his face, "I don't think so, anyways…."

After standing in their shock-induced stupor for a moment or five, they gradually began to drift towards what interested them most—Thief to the various boxes, White Mage to see what was wrong with the woman, and Black Mage to the dust bunnies' library.

Warrior surveyed his surroundings again and sighed—he was not exactly comfortable being inside a walk-in acid trip. Or some cheep fortune-teller's hovel. Or whatever one would consider a place such as this.

One of the various brooms swept its was towards him, its voice and song/chant/thing identical to that of the one outside.

"Frontwards, backwards, any way you please! There's no better way to swish-swish-aree! Tceles B hsup. Swish-swish-aroo!"

Warrior's brows furrowed as the broom repeated the verse. "Frontwards…backwards? Is it a riddle?"

The rain had ended and the mystery of the cave had been solved—mostly—the old woman, Matoya, was a blind witch.

Warrior was silent as the others talked of their discoveries, still pondering over the broom's incantation. The others paid no notice, as Warrior was often silent, and, as such, did not notice when he stopped, eyes alight with a sudden epiphany. They did turn, however, when he snapped his fingers and murmered "Push B select."

Though he had absolutely no idea what it meant, he was happy to have at least figured it out.

And then a light burst into existence in front of him. It formed itself into a rectangular shape, shimmered, and then presented itself to Warrior as a set of holographic continents, complete with oceans, rivers, mountains, caves—even castles and towns. A twinkle of light marked his current position, south of a cave—Warrior found himself smiling more; this made things so much easier.

The other three came to gawp at this new discovery, too stunned to speak.

Warrior tapped on the entrance to the cave they'd just left; a strip of golden light streaked across the top of the map, leaving the words "Matoya's Cave" in its wake.

Warrior's smile turned into a smirk. His finger calmly traced a path from Matoya's Cave to the nearest town (excluding Cornelia); they had to travel southeast, mostly through forest—two days, three at most, of walking.

Black Mage, who had been growing steadily more irritable at the thought of Warrior having outdone him in something magical, inquired in some sort of growl, "Where did you learn that?"

Warrior waved the map away and tossed Black Mage a smirk as he began to walk towards Provoka. "A broom told me."

The others stared incredulously at Warrior's retreating back. White Mage tapped Thief's shoulder, earning a small, confused noise of acknowledgement.

"Are you sure you didn't spike the morning rations?"


	3. Sweet Polly Oliver

**A/N** Yes, I'm making direct reference to TV Tropes with the chapter title...because it fits. Also, I was, in fact, listening to the piece of music mentioned when I was typing this up. If none of you have gone through the bonus dungeons in either the Dawn of Souls or 20th Anniversary remakes, this isn't going to make any sense to you. Anyways, enjoy! **End A/N**

**Sweet Polly Oliver  
**

"You know, if it weren't for the monsters, this place wouldn't be so bad."

"As much as I hate to agree with him—"

"Oi! What's that supposed to mean?"

Warrior sighed as he pushed open a door to yet another empty room. "Can he not go five minutes without starting an argument?"

"He never argues with you." Black Mage's remark came from behind him, where the sound of metal scraping a whetstone originated.

"That's because he knows he can't win." Warrior shut the door and continued on to the next one. "I use logic."

There was an amused snort. "So do I. So does she. Even he does, to an extent. What makes you different?"

"I'm the only one here that possesses anything resembling sanity."

The sound of the whetstone continued for a moment, and then, "I'd take offense to that, but you're probably right."

There was a silence between them for a moment. It was Warrior who broke it. "You're certainly obsessed with sharpening that thing, aren't you?"

"It's something to do." A pause. "Excuse me for a moment, will you? He seems to be trying to drown our healer."

"Certainly."

There came, after a moment, the sound of lightning and an explosion of swearing. There were a couple more small explosions, and then the swearing died down into mutters.

Warrior kept walking, not even bothering to glance down when he felt someone tug on his cape. White Mage had some up beside him, almost running in an attempt to keep up with his long strides.

"We're lost, aren't we."

Warrior shot her an exasperated look. "When are we not?"

Then he drew his blade, signaling that all conversation was over.

Twenty minutes and many dead monsters later, White Mage found a staircase. They descended into what Black Mage claimed was the fifth floor. This bolstered the hopes of the others, as Earthgift Shrine had only had five floors. Perhaps they'd soon be done with Lifespring Grotto.

At least, three of the four thought such. Warrior knew better then to get his hopes up.

The place they'd entered bore a striking resemblance to the Sunken Shrine. They were under water, of course, with a bottle of Oxyale each, and the grotto they were in was made up of the remains of some ancient building. The roof was gone, the railings and walls were crumbling, and there were holes in the floor. The staircase they had used to enter crumbled behind them, as all the others before it had done, trapping them. Luckily, there were no monsters in sight.

There were, however, an exceptionally large number of mermaids. Good-looking mermaids, too, though that seemed to be a requirement to be a member of the species.

Thief, who had been grumbling, instantly brightened and struck up a conversation with a particularly pretty mermaid with a pink tail. The other three simply ignored him and continued to survey surroundings.

"Have you ever noticed," Black Mage said after a moment, "that while there are dozens of mermaids, we never see any mer_men_?"

"I know! It's not fair! If they're gonna have a bunch of girls swimming around in almost nothing they should have some good-looking guys too!"

Warrior's eyebrow shot up, but he chose not to question White Mage's thought process. Instead he turned to Black Mage. "I can't help but wonder why you're the one to take note of this."

"Wha-? Are you saying you think I'm—?"

"I said nothing of the sort."

White Mage leaned around Warrior to stare with wide, curious eyes.

"L-look, I'm only wondering how they manage to keep their species going when there aren't any males!" And with that, Black Mage stomped off in a huff.

"That was strange…thought I suppose he does have a point…" Warrior shrugged and found himself a spot against a fairly sound wall and leaned back, pondering their next move. White Mage left to go chat with a group of mermaids out of Warrior's earshot—a conversation that quickly turned into gossip, giggles, and a few sidelong glances his way.

Thief approached his friend and leader, his eyes locked on the sulking Black Mage. "What's his problem?"

"He noted that for all the mermaids we have encountered, we have yet to see any mermen. I inquired as to why he cared, and he took offense."

"So you asked him if he was into men."

"I said nothing of the sort."

"But you implied it."

"Perhaps I did."

Thief shrugged. "Well, whatever. If he wants to pitch a hissy fit, let him. Anyways, I heard his interesting tidbit and thought you might be interested…"

Thief's information sent them all over the little grotto, making inquiries and searching for clues. The general consensus was that a sword had found its way down here—one that looked incredibly similar to Warrior's Excalibur, in fact—and that some strange man had been hunting for this "legendary blade". Motivated by curiosity, if nothing else, Warrior and Thief searched for this sword and its hunter. Eventually the two mages joined them, and all four continued with the effort.

They found them—but it wasn't quite what they were expecting.

The sword was an exact copy of Warrior's Excalibur—only it wasn't. The gold filigree in the handle looked like it was gilded, the metal of the blade lacked the luminescence of the original, and the jewel in the hilt looked irredeemably fake. The four couldn't help but wonder who would bother with something that was so obviously a cheap knock-off.

The sword hunter, however, was far more interesting.

They didn't actually see the guy until they'd found the sword. Thief had knelt down to pick the thing up when there came the sound of a sword being drawn from behind them.

The four spun around and found themselves facing the strangest man they'd ever seen.

He was tall, with an overly large halberd and strange armor. He stared at them with a sort of dark humor, like he found them to be funny.

"What, are you looking for Excalibur too?" He smiled an odd smile, like he was about to deliver the punch line of a joke. "How rude of me…I mean, the four of you come all this way…of course I'll let you have the sword."

"Uh…Thanks?" Thief's tone couldn't have reflected the group's confusion better if he'd tried.

The hunter snorted. "I'd say you've been hitting the oxyale a bit hard if you believe THAT!" His snapped the halberd up, pointing it directly at the Light Warriors. They drew their weapons in response; the mages stepped back as Warrior and Thief moved to cover them.

"Warriors of Light, eh?" The hunter laughed. "Let's see how you handle the mighty me! And by me, I mean Gilgamesh! And by handle, I mean DIIIIE!"

Music suddenly swelled in the background, evoking images of an epic battle upon a giant bridge.

At this, Thief dropped his combat stance. "Hold on a sec!" He pointed his ninja blade at Gilgamesh in an accusing manner and shouted, "Where the _hell_ did the music come from?"

Gilgamesh shrugged. "Every time I go into battle, that music plays. Pretty awesome, right?"

"What? You get a fucking battle theme?" Thief's shoulders slumped in disappointment. "Why can't we have one?"

"Why are you so hung up over this?" White Mage asked, giving Thief an odd look.

"We're the _Warriors of Light_! We're the saviors of the world, for god's sake! If anyone should get their own battle theme, it's us, not some random sword hunter that no one cares about!"

"Actually, I don't think he's just—" Warrior's voice was drowned out in the music, which exploded in volume as Gilgamesh struck a pose.

"Enough expository banner! Now, we fight like men! And ladies! And ladies who dress like men!"

The Light Warriors froze. Slowly, they turned to face Black Mage.

"What? What're you looking at me funny for?"

There was a moment of awkward silence. Then, White Mage spoke, deciding that the blunt way was the best way.

"Are you a girl?"

"Wha-Why the hell would you think THAT?"

"Well, they're obviously guys," she indicated to Warrior and Thief, "and I'm obviously a girl, so…."

"So _what_?"

"So you're the only one he could be talking about." Thief said, a wicked twinkle in his eyes.

"You're all insane! I'm no girl!"

"You know, now that I think about it, your voice is awfully high…."

"WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF! I'M A GUY!"

"Okay, I'll believe you—if you prove it."

"Prove it? Prove it how?"

"Take off your hat."

"HELL NO!"

"He's right…that's the only way we can be sure. Take off that silly hat!"

"Don't you DARE touch my hat!"

Thief and White Mage exchanged a knowing glance.

"Well, if you don't take it off…I guess we'll have to!" She cackled as she spoke.

"Off with it, mate!"

"STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"

Black Mage took off running, hands pulling on the brim of his too-large hat. Thief and White Mage gave chase, laughing evilly all the while.

Warrior and Gilgamesh watched them go. Then, slowly, they turned back to face each other.

"So, you still want to fight for that sword?"

"…Not particularly…"

"Of course you don't! For that would mean you'd have to face the greatest swordsman in all the worlds!" And Gilgamesh laughed boastfully as he pushed past Warrior to claim the Excalibur knockoff. "Ha HA! Now I have the greatest sword in existence!"

Warrior, who had the real Excalibur, slapped his forehead with his palm.

"You okay there, buddy? You look like all of my awesome is making you uncomfortable!"

Warrior did not remove his hand. "…I need a goddamn drink…."

After a moment something hit his raised elbow. Glancing between his fingers, he saw a bottle of some form of liquor, held in the hand of none other than Gilgamesh.

"I'm in the mood to celebrate my victory. Care to join?"

"Is that stuff strong?"

"FOOL! Only the STRONGEST of alcohol can satisfy the great Gilgamesh!"

Warrior smiled sardonically. "Count me in."

And so began a friendship forged of wine, women, and song. Or something like that.


End file.
